Mar 10
Doubting God’s People. It’s what we’re wrestling with at CPT this wkd. Many get burned by bad churches and hypocritic Christians. Have you?
Doubting God’s People. It’s what we’re wrestling with at CPT this wkd. Many get burned by bad churches and hypocritic Christians. Have you?
March 10th, 2009 at 4:43 pm
Years ago I was part of a movement where a lot of control was exercised by leaders over people’s lives. I wouldn’t say that I was burned, but a number were. I think that fewer people were burned in the particular church where I was due to the heart and personality of the pastor not being inclined to control or be (even unintentionally) abusive.
At a later time, we were part of a group of churches has emerged in recent decades as a new denomination (whether or not they officially say that). They have not been abusive or controlling in my experience. However, I recently read the experience of a high profile pastor who had to resign his position as Sr Pastor of the most well-known church in this denomination. It’s a long story, and he agrees that he had problems and needed to resign. However, after going through a process meant to lead to restoration in good standing (but not to his former position), he felt that the group did not live up to it’s agreements and treated him very unfairly, and that the whole process was quite harmful.
Interestingly he credits many in the leadership with good intentions, and being helpful to him. He feels there was a failure of openness and accountability of the leadership in conflict resolution, which was to a large degree as much a problem with the structure of the national organization as with any individuals.
What I read is one person’s perception of the issue. I have no personal knowledge of the situation, and won’t attempt to link it. I do think that, while still wounded, the man in question is attempting to be fair in his account.
I think that bottom line, when it comes to churches hurting people, the best safeguards tend to be a combination of humility on the part of leaders, and structures that require accountability and transparency of leadership. Well, good theology and ecclesiology help a lot also, but if you’re in a bad church or one with the potential for abuse, you probably don’t realize that the theology is off.
March 10th, 2009 at 5:43 pm
I have had many experiences with people who are quick to say “I’m a Christian, God guides me in everything I do” then turn around and do some of the most hurtful and “un-Christian” things I have ever bared witness to or been a victim of. I found it unbelievably confusing to figure out “how can you be a Christian and do this? or say that?” It has taken my entire 28 years on this planet to finally get to a place where I can start to explore my faith and what it truly means. I have always been very private about that part of my life, for one because until now I don’t think I truly understood it and second because I didn’t want to be a hypocrite. Simply because that’s all I’ve ever seen. I find myself every day discovering new things about who I am in God’s creation and how my existance affects others. I still struggle to forgive, but am trying to move past the ill feelings I have towards those who blocked me from the relationship I have with God.
Lastly, I want to thank Pastor Matt. My husband and I have been attending CrossPoint for the past two months and finally after much searching, we feel like we have found home.
March 14th, 2009 at 11:35 pm
Alicia and I have a dear friend in Round Rock. while working as a teacher, she obtained her Master’s degree and paid for it by working as a waitress at Applebees. (Imagine juggling that) she shares with us how the absolute worst customers are the after church crowd. Not only are people pushy, rude and bad tippers, they will confront her “don’t you go to church?”.
a lot of her friends, who also work as waiters, are very jaded against Christians and church. Jesus even cares about people who earn their living from tips. we should too.
p.s. good to see you blogging again.
March 19th, 2009 at 7:29 pm
I was never really “burned” by any other Churches but I can say that one of the things that we really love and appreciate about Crosspoint is that everybody there is real. The pastors, staff and members are all real people and nobody proclaims to be better than anybody else and there is never a holier than thou attitude. Frank did an awesome job with this message.
March 20th, 2009 at 2:30 pm
“Many get burned by bad churches and hypocritic Christians. Have you?”– I would have to answer no to this question but if you asked if I was burned by a church or a Christian then I would have to say yes- many times. I think that the imperfect nature of humanity causes every Christian to “burn” other people in one way or another at some point. I think it is a mistake to label a church or a Christian for that matter as bad or hypocritic. I myself cannot deny that these labels can definitly apply to me at times, especially if I have just been “burned” by another Christian. I think our most profitable response to people who are ‘less than pleasant’ is one of disciplined love. I use the term ‘disciplined’ because it is not a love that comes from the heart or emotions but comes from the mental decision to willfully act in love toward those who offend. Is this hard? Yes, Extremely! However, I have learned that in the long run, anxiety over the situation lasts a shorter amount of time if I respond in love as opposed to responding negatively. The quicker I can forgive the quicker I can forget and move on. If, however, I harbor ill will towards those who offend then I often find that am the only one who is in misery over the situation and the offenders have gone on to other things. What I try to do is work at loving without resiprocity. It just seems easier that way.
March 23rd, 2009 at 12:22 pm
Having done my fair share of offending others, I’m grateful that I can go to the Father and ask for his forgiveness. The bigger challenge for me is going to the other person I know I offended and apologizing. Because it doesn’t mean that they are ready to forgive and sometimes they just flat out refuse. I’ve been known to have a “quick temper and sharp tongue” and have had years of indulging them both. Feel free to pray for me in this area because I know I desperatly need it.